I am Chuck Sugar, a Christian Counselor in the Nashville, Franklin, and Brentwood Tennessee area and I love working with people. Though I work a lot with people dealing with depression, self-worth, and trauma issues, I particularly have a passion working with couples in the area of couple communication and conflict resolution. I believe that conflicts, that are resolved in a loving and caring manner, build intimacy, trust, and hope in any relationship. We are not typically taught growing up how to resolve problems with another person without arguing and trying to win. My wife, Teresa, and I have been teaching a couples class at our church since the spring of 2008 and we have seen some amazing things happen when the couples do the work presented in the class. Couples are beginning to resolve conflicts in a loving way for the first time and their marriages are increasing in quality and intimacy.
Alongside my passion to work with couples, I am also having to learn how to blog. Blogging, to me, is the opposite of working with people: I usually do it alone in front of a computer and what I have in my thoughts and experiences are not necessarily easily put down on paper…or blog. I can see why it would be a great advantage in teaching and helping couples, not only in a local church setting, but also worldwide. I have found several things to be true worldwide, but the most prevalent one is that couples need to learn how to deal with conflict with one another. Avoiding conflict or arguing without a healthy resolution causes so much damage in the areas of trust, intimacy, romance, fun, friendship, etc. I believe that the journey to greater intimacy is through conflict when is resolved in a loving, caring way.
In reflecting on this, I created a blog. It’s just a record of thoughts and counseling information, but the funny thing is, the more I write on my blog, the more I can separate my thoughts and create something that we all can use in resolving our conflict.
First, I put together a worksheet that asks questions to walk someone through a healthy process of doing their part of the conflict resolution process. The worksheet is only part of the process, but it’s a huge part. After creating the worksheet, I created a process chart that shows us the steps typically needed in resolving conflict in a healthy manner. I use it a lot in class and in working with couples in my counseling office. The chart helps us as couples deal with each issue. It also helps us see our old destructive or unhealthy patterns of behavior and hopefully, in time, we can change those patterns to healthier, more productive, patterns of behavior that allow us to build a marriage that thrives.
So even though blogging is new to me, and not a person-to-person relationship, I can see how blogging can help us learn and help us grow. So, come check out my blog. Send me an email. And while you’re at it, download the worksheet and chart on resolving conflict. They are both free and there to help you.